Addict With a Pen

the truth is

most days I’m lost

afraid of going home

were you ever my home?

or just a habit I couldn’t break?

we never sailed smoothly,

you and I.

I can’t let you in

but I can’t let you go

I want to tell you I’m sorry.

I’m not sure if you’ll kiss me or hit me.

I don’t know which I fear more.

so i keep it to myself

pour a little water

at the oak tree of regret.

was there ever a moment

where we could have made it work?

when i was a little harder

and you were a little softer?

I guess I never trusted us to get it right.

I’m not sure why you left

I’m not sure why I stayed

I was afraid you’d never come back

but I always panicked when you did.

i didn’t know how to walk away

i still don’t.

As you sail away

I’ll be waiting on the shore

for you can always come back home